Some mean fellows have been bothering my Friend, ol’ Hatchet Jack, and ol’ Hatchet Jack is saying that he needs some help. These fellows are saying that he can’t squat in the snow drift any more or something, but they don’t understand that that is part of who he is, and that it’s not his fault he’s frozen.
Ol’ Hatchet Jack has lost his official documentation (I don’t think they were making Birth Certificates back when he was born, it was a while ago, but I won’t tell) and so I made him a Badge.
It says, BACK OFF, bub.
I watch out for my friends, and I’m watching over Ol’ Hatchet Jack.
If you bother with my Friends, then I don’t like you. In fact, if you bother my Friends, then I think I hate you. Very much. I won’t say any more than that here in public, because I’m a nice girl now. But you know what I would say, don’t you? So you have been warned.